The following is an excerpt from my translation of Dante's Inferno in terza rima, the rhyme scheme of the original Italian poem.
The Dark Wood, by Gustave Doré |
In the
middle of the journey of our life
I found
myself again in a dark forest,
for I had
lost the pathway straight and right.
4 Ah how hard
it is to describe, this forest
savage and
rough and overwhelming, for
to think of
it renews my fear before it!
7 It is so
bitter, death is little more;
but to
discuss the good I found, I’ll say
the other
things I witnessed there before.
10 How I got there,
I cannot rightly say,
I was so
full of sleep at that point still
at which I
had abandoned the true way.
13 But where
that valley ended which had filled
my heart
with fear, I came upon a slope;
and
standing at the bottom of that hill,
16 I looked on
high, and saw its shoulders clothed
already in
that planet’s rays of light
that yet
leads others straight on every road.
19 My fear was
calmed a little at the sight,
though the
lake within my heart endured the dread
while I’d passed
with such pity through the night.
22 And as a man,
who with exhausted breath
emerges from
the sea onto the shore,
turns to
the dangerous waters he has left,
25 so, as it
fled away, my mind once more
turned back
to look again upon the pass
that no one
living ever left before.
28 I paused my
weary body to relax,
then took
the way along the desert slope,
the firm
foot always lower on the path.
31 And behold,
just where the hill begins to slope,
a leopard
light and lithe and very fast,
and covered
over with a spotted coat;
34 she did not
leave before my face, but had
my journey
so impeded as I climbed,
that most
times I was turned and driven back.
37 The beginning
of the morning was the time,
and the sun
was mounting upwards with those stars
that had
been with it when the Love divine
40 had first
moved those beautiful things afar;
so that,
despite the beast with the dappled coat,
the hour of
time and the sweet season are
43 occasion
nonetheless to have good hope;
but not so
much that I was not afraid
when there
appeared a lion on the slope.
46 Against me he
appeared to make his way,
with his
head high and with furious hunger,
so that the
air itself appeared to quake.
49 And then a
wolf, who seemed to be encumbered
with every
craving, looking lean and light,
and she’s
made wretched lives for many others—
52 with the fear
that issued from her very sight,
she put
upon me such a heavy strain
that I lost
hope of getting to the height.
55 And as is he
who willfully makes gains,
and the
time comes that causes him to lose,
who weeps
in all his thoughts and grieves with pain;
58 so then that peaceless
beast had made me too,
who, moving
towards me, little by little came
to drive me
back to where the sun is mute.
61 And then
before my eyes a figure came,
as I was
falling to a lower place,
who through
the long silence seemed soft and faint.
64 When I saw
him in the great deserted waste,
“Have mercy
on me,” I cried through the expanse,
“whatever
you may be, a man or shade!”
67 He said: “No
man, yet once I was a man,
and both my
parents were Lombards, and they
were
Mantuan by their native fatherland.
70 I was born sub Julio, though it was late,
and lived
in Rome under good Augustus’ reign
in the time
when the false and lying gods were praised.
73 I was a poet,
and it was I who sang
of
Anchises’ righteous son, who came from Troy
after proud
Ilium went up in flames.
76 But why do
you turn back, just to rejoin
such
trouble? why not climb the lovely mountain
which is
the start and cause of every joy?”
79 “Then are you
that same Virgil and that fountain
who spills
out speech in such a fluent brook?”
I answered
him with shame upon my brow, then.
82 “O light and
honor of the poets, look—
may the
long study and the great love garner
your favor,
which have made me search your book.
85 You are my
master and you are my author;
you are
alone the one from whom I take
the
beautiful style that has brought me honor.
88 You see the
beast for which I turn away;
help me to
get beyond her, famous sage,
for she has
made my veins and pulses quake.”
91 “There is
another path that you must take,”
he answered
when he saw me shedding tears,
“if you
want to survive this savage place;
94 for this
beast, for which you’ve cried out in tears,
allows no one
to pass across her path,
but so
impedes him that it kills him here;
97 and has a
nature so wicked and bad,
that never
will she glut her greedy will,
but has
more hunger after her repast.
100 She weds with
many creatures, and she still
will breed
with more, until the greyhound first
arrives, who
painfully will have her killed.
103 He will not
feed on pewter nor on earth,
but on wisdom,
love and virtue, and soon
between
felt and felt will be his nation’s birth.
106 For that lowly
Italy he’ll be a boon
for which
the virgin Camilla is deceased,
and
Euryalus, Turnus and Nisus died of wounds.
109 Through every
city will he hunt the beast,
until he
sends her back to the Inferno,
there where
by envy she was first released.
112 It’s best if
you, as I think and discern, will
now follow
me, and I will be your guide,
and I will
bring you through a place eternal,
115 where you will
hear the hopeless desperate cries,
and you
will see the ancient spirits suffer,
who scream
and beg for second deaths to die;
118 and you’ll see
those who are content to suffer
in fire,
because they hope that they will reach,
whenever it
may be, those blessed others.
121 If you’ll then
want to climb as high as these,
there is a
soul much worthier than I:
with her
I’ll leave you, when I take my leave;
124 because that
Emperor who reigns on high,
since I
rebelled against His law, declares
that in His
city, through me, none arrive.
127 From there He
rules, and governs everywhere;
there is His
city, and there the high seat:
oh happy,
those He chooses to be there!”
130 And I to him:
“Poet, I ask you please
by that
same God whom you had never known,
so I from
this evil and worse may flee,
133 to lead me to
the place of which you spoke,
that I
might see the gateway of Saint Peter
and those
whom you make out to be so low.”
136 Then he moved
on, and I kept after the leader.
Hi, I really like what you did with this canto. The oral flow is there and the overall meaning, though at times difficult to follow in other translations, is easily followed in yours. I collect translations of Dante and have read quite a few, some of the better terza rima translations to check out (if you haven't already) are by Sibbald, Plumptre, and Haselfoot. So my compliment comes with a bit of background knowledge. Further, I am also working on my own terza rima translation (I am on canto 7 at the moment). Two questions, if you don't mind, when was this written and when will it be published? Again, great job and thank you! Russell
ReplyDeleteThank you! It's great to hear such a compliment from a fellow translator. I haven't read the translations you mentioned, but I will definitely check them out. Are they older? I think I have most of the more modern translations (Ciardi and onwards).
ReplyDeleteI wrote the first draft of this canto in 2010. That early version bears little resemblance to this one, though. I think I finished the first draft of Inferno in 2014 and began rewriting immediately, so the revised version would have been done in 2014 or early 2015. I'm now working on notes and extra material for the book, but I hope to be published in 2021 (no set date yet).
Congratulations on your own translation! Terza rima is not easy. But it has been very fun and fulfilling to write. I'd love to read some of yours if you ever feel like sharing it. Thanks for getting in touch with me.
Best,
J. Simon Harris
Hi again, thank you for your candid and quick response. I have been compiling a bibliographical list of English translations, first one was 1782 by the way, most recent was released either Dec 2020, or Jan 2021, Alasdair Gray's Paradise, can't remember off the top of my head. There have been over 100 translations, add to that random cantos and that would easily double. I would be happy to share a canto or so, but I would rather email it then post it here. Let me know if you are still interested. Here is a link to one of the Medieval Romances I have translated. It is just an excerpt.
ReplyDeletehttps://classicalpoets.org/2020/12/03/king-horn-middle-english-romance-translation-by-russell-spera/
Peace, Russell
Hi Russell,
ReplyDeleteI apologize for taking so long to reply. I read the excerpt of King Horn you translated. It's tough to render such short lines faithfully while holding to the rhyme scheme; I think you did a great job. Have you published the whole translation? Send me a link, if so.
As for Dante, if you still want to share a canto of your work with me, you could email it to jsimonharris@gmail.com (I use that address specifically for author correspondence; I don't check it as often as my personal address, but I don't want to post that here). I will happily read anything you want to send. Looking forward to hearing back from you.
Best,
J. Simon Harris
I will email you...
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'll check for it.
ReplyDeleteRe-sent my email from May 19th. I am sure it is buried by now. Yes, Podcast is great! Though I only recently discovered it. I'm running with Dante to catch up! Peace, Russell
ReplyDeleteHey Russell,
ReplyDeleteThanks for resending your email; I'm sorry it fell through the cracks. I just sent you a response. I love reading other translators' takes on Dante. I was impressed by your decision to use exact rhymes! I'll be first in line to get yours when it comes out.
Also, yeah, the Walking With Dante podcast is amazing. I'm glad people are discovering it. I think new episodes are supposed to start coming again next week.
Please keep me updated regarding your various writing projects (Inferno, King Horn, and the compilation of Inferno opening tercets).
Best,
J. Simon Harris