1st place in "Funny Food Poetry Contest"

My entry, "The Drunken" (a parody of Poe's "The Raven"), won 1st place in the special category for poems over 14 lines in the "Funny Food Poetry Contest" sponsored by The Society of Classical Poets! My poem follows the style, meter, and rhyme scheme of "The Raven", but it is about liqueur instead of Lenore. Check out the other contest entries in the comments section of this post. Here are the first two stanzas (read the rest of the poem by following the link at the bottom):

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I wandered, drunk and weary,

Over many a quaint and dimlit alley of forgotten doors—

While I plodded, barely standing, suddenly I heard a chanting,

As of someone softly ranting, ranting from the darkened doors.

“It’s some other drunk,” I muttered, “chanting from the darkened doors—

            Only this and nothing more.”

Only vaguely I remember, for I’d been on quite a bender,

And each alleyway I entered left me lost more than before.

Wishing that the night weren’t over, vainly I had bought an Uber,

Then I walked away more sober—sober for my lost liqueur—

For the sweet and fervent ferment that the brewers name liqueur—

            Shameless here forevermore.

(continue reading...)